The Best Time of Life

I will be 59-years old this year. Let me restate that…I will be in my last year prior to turning 60 this year. I’m unsure how that happened. It seems like only ten years ago that I was in high school. Somehow in that ten years, I got married, had three kids, got divorced, was a single mom, went to nursing school, started working, got married again, watched the kids move out, and eventually became a grandparent. Ok…maybe it was a little longer than ten years….like about 4 times longer. No…over 4 times longer! I graduated from high school 41 years ago!

Eric and I now work our own business, which has somewhat altered my workaholic nature. I come from directing a nursing program and working 60 hours a week. I now work anywhere from 10-30 hours a week, a schedule that could be synonymous with “semi-retired.” My remaining time is spent sitting on the floor connecting Thomas the Train tracks or dolling out Cheerios. Oh…and shopping for children’s clothing, color-changing Pixar cars, and teething biscuits. Life has changed…seriously for the better!

This time of life is all about the grandchildren. My children are grown and while I don’t think we ever feel that our parenting role is truly over, I’m no longer driving kids to sports practices, or escorting anyone to juvenile court. (In all fairness, that only happened once!)

Here are my top reasons why everything is better during this time of life…

1. I’m not awake until all hours of the night waiting for someone to get home. This is good since we are usually in bed by 9pm and it would be a long wait until midnight when most young adults stroll in. I still struggle with insomnia at times, but not due to worrying about car accidents, parties, or teenage pregnancy. (Again, to be fair….all of our boys’ accidents happened during daylight hours. Lack of light was never an issue…)
2. My need to discipline anyone is minimal, usually, no more than a “honey, don’t jump on the new couch” or “honey, we need to put your toys away.” which is followed with…”Ok, grandma.” We are still a treat to spend time with since we have not nagged them to brush their teeth, clean their rooms, or “FOR Lord’s SAKE…HOW DID YOU GET DIRTY ALREADY???? WE HAVE TO LEAVE!!!!” We no longer need to inquire about where all the forks have gone or ask why they can’t seem to put their dirty dishes in the sink, much less the dishwasher. I love that I don’t have to yell at anyone.
3. The house stays…relatively…clean. Or as clean as it can with two large dogs residing with us. Our house stays clean in a hairy sort of way. Ok…our house is still a mess, but we no longer have anyone to blame. That’s still a positive. It’s teaching me to take responsibility. And it is clean in a manner that doesn’t consist of finding half-eaten bowls of cereal under the couch.
4. After we spend 4-8 hours (depending on the day) with the grandkids, we take them home. We tried that with our own kids and quickly realized that we were running into other parents looking for places for their own children. We all ended up taking our own back – at least we knew their habits and didn’t have to learn anything new. We now love being on the floor playing with trains or sitting at a 2-foot-tall table running kinetic sand through our hands. And then…we drop the kids off, apply a layer of Icy-Hot and take a nap.
5. I gained a daughter with the potential for a few more. I raised three boys. I wouldn’t have it any other way – I was born to be a boy Mom. I would wrestle with them…I liked bugs and lizards…and could handle the smell of eight pre-teen males driving in our van after basketball practice. I loved raising boys and never really missed having a girl. I love my daughter-in-law, however. We got a pedicure together for Mother’s Day. It was a treat!
6. I get to buy shorts and shirts for $10. They are of course, not for me, but for my grandchildren. I rarely buy myself clothes anymore since the top half of my body continues to slide down towards my feet. Once I found a few things that fit, I just continue to wear them until they wear out. But kid’s clothes? SO MANY! SO CUTE! SO incredibly inexpensive compared to clothes with lots of fabric trying to hold your stomach in, your breasts up, and your bottom in place! I now love shopping for clothes…fifty bucks and a Target card….and the kids are dressed for a week.
7. I actually take time to spend outside in the back and front yards that we paid for. We have trees and plants that draw bees and hummingbirds. I love sitting outside and just watching them fly from flower to flower. We invested money into our front and back yards last year after realizing that we had been a bit haphazard with our yard. This was confirmed when the contractor started with, “I think you need to decide what you like. It doesn’t look like you ever really made a decision…” This could be because we had a small plum tree, a Mexican Bird-of-Paradise, and a large cactus all in a row. We now have a planned out yard, stamped concrete, and outdoor seating. I use it regularly.
8. On days that we are not working or with the grandkids, we get to explore the city…or other places. We have annual passes to Sea World and the Zoo which makes it worth it to just go for a few hours, with or without our grandkids. We visit the Water Conservation Garden and the San Diego Botanic Garden just to look at the plants and get more ideas on how to not mix plum trees and cactus together. Sometimes we drive up to Idyllwild or Julian just to walk around. We live in a beautiful place…one that I didn’t always appreciate when I was working so much!
9. I’m focused on health now rather than dress size. I’ve become an intermittent fasting fan since it seems to work to curb my grazing nature. I’ve lost 24 pounds and should lose about 20 more to reach the number my MD gave me as a goal. I might get there. I might not. I’m not stressed about it. I’d like to not have a stroke or develop heart disease so I can see my grandkids graduate from high school. My cholesterol is down and I’m in my pre-Covid pants. I’ll take that as a win. Since I don’t see myself needing a formal anytime soon, and since my husband’s eyesight is failing at a similar rate as my breasts are falling, I’ll just continue to try to get healthy. I don’t need to look like I did 41 years ago. I just need a working heart.
10. The best part in my opinion? We get to see a side of our boys that makes anything that they put us through worth it. Even though Christopher is the one with the kids, Tommy and Matt show us how great they will be also when their time comes. All three of our boys are good men. They work hard. I enjoy being with them. I text them “I love you” daily (along with our bonus-daughter). They text me back. They like each other and spend time together. We all jump in to enjoy the littles in our family.

This is the best time of life. I hope it lasts for a long time…but if it doesn’t, I’m so glad that I got to see it.

I’m going to watch the birds and bees on the porch.

Life is good….

Posted in Grandparenting and Tagged Grandparenting The Best Time of Lif3